5 tips for people who hate networking

If you've ever felt like networking just isn't your cup of tea, read on. The thought of striking up conversations with strangers, attending industry events, or participating in potentially awkward small talk can be enough to put many people off networking. Yet, for development professionals, networking isn't just a useful skill, it can also play a significant role in securing work within the sector. So, how can you approach networking if you don’t find it enjoyable? In a recent Devex Career event, international coach and development career expert Simone Anzböck shed light on some of the common misconceptions surrounding networking and offered advice on how to make it less of a chore. Networking isn't just for extroverts People often think extroverts are naturally gifted networkers and that introverts are not. This isn’t actually true, and it’s important to keep that in mind. Anzböck cited psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on fixed versus growth mindsets and how someone’s belief on whether or not they can learn something new translates to how much effort they put into that thing. According to Dweck, people with "fixed" mindsets view abilities as inherent traits, while those with a "growth mindset” perceive them as malleable and subject to improvement over time. In support of this, Anzböck also cited a study from 2020 that suggests that individuals inclined toward a “fixed theory” of networking are more prone to disengagement. This is likely because they believe that being good at networking is fixed, rather than another skill that can be developed and practiced. Takeaway: Networking is a skill you can learn if you hold a growth mindset. Assume that people like you There’s such a thing as a "liking gap" when meeting new people, which can cast a shadow over these first interactions. In other words, “we underestimate how we come across socially,” said Anzböck. When we meet someone for the first time, we tend to think that they like us less than they probably do. “We assume that people are going to be harshly critical of our first impression … [but] other people like us more than we think they do.” It’s likely that we’re all feeling similar about it. With that said, resist succumbing to self-doubt and instead try to keep building conversations and connections with people. Takeaway: Assume that people like you more than you think and keep the conversation going. Go out of your way to build relationships Anzböck highlighted how people often say that “relationships should form naturally [and that] we shouldn’t have to work on them — we should just click with the other person.” But this isn’t necessarily true. Why? Anzböck explained how the problem with this is that “if we let our relationships form naturally, then we're more likely to end up with people that are just like you, and people that we basically bump into randomly, like our neighborhood and the gym.” Anzböck referenced Herminia Ibarra, who calls these the “convenience networks” — they are convenient, but not very diverse. “You should be strategic about networking, meaning, go out of your way a bit and think about where you might bump into people that you're interested in,” said Anzböck. Takeaway: Naturally formed networks are less diverse and likely less useful. Be strategic. Engage in activities that align with your networking goals Instead of thinking about making contacts, think about relevant events, joining professional groups, and contributing to meaningful initiatives that you’re going to enjoy. In other words, “expand your networking while you do something you enjoy,” said Anzböck. She also referenced a framework from a podcast that was originally designed for dating but is great for networking overall. Here’s Anzböck’s event decision-making framework for which events to attend: “Pick your particular event based on the likelihood that you're going to enjoy this event and the likelihood that you're going to interact with someone. Pick the ones where both are high — you're gonna enjoy yourself and you're probably going to talk to someone,” she said. Takeaway: Next time you’re considering which events to attend, make a 4/4 matrix and prioritize events that are “High/High”. Nurturing weaker connections matters When it comes to networking, there's a prevailing belief that our strongest ties are the most valuable — i.e. close friends and people that you know very well. But Anzböck emphasized that there is a lot of potential in weak ties — i.e. people we don’t know that well yet or acquaintances that we don’t see often. Anzböck referenced the fact that contrary to common belief, weak ties are the ones through which people get jobs. Results from a five-year study carried out by LinkedIn with researchers from MIT, Harvard, and Stanford Universities, showed that weak ties have more impact on job mobility, at least to a certain point and especially within digital industries. In contrast, strong ties tend to facilitate job mobility in less digitally oriented sectors. As Anzböck aptly put it, “Weak ties give you connections and bridges to new social circles that you don't have access to because [with] your strong ties, your immediate network, you know everything in that already.” Takeaway: Weaker ties are bridges to new social circles, so focus on building a well-rounded network. Ready to stand out from the crowd and get noticed by the recruiters who matter most? Update your Devex profile and start connecting with top global development recruiters now.