Opinion: What I learnt from burnout in my climate startup journey

I woke up one day last year feeling really tired. So tired I could barely get out of bed. I thought I had the flu, or maybe COVID-19. While usually the worst is over in a few days, I waited for 10 days and wasn’t getting better. When I finally went to the doctor, they said I had no physical problems and this could be a mental health matter. I went to a psychologist, who said my symptoms might suggest I was heading for a burnout. What? Me? How?? It’s true: I’d been working a lot. Setting up a new organization and making it successful was not easy, but I love my work and it gives me energy. Still, continually dealing with challenging situations and exciting opportunities in a startup environment meant my body was relying a lot on adrenaline. I’d become so accustomed to being in a constant adrenaline-fueled state, I’d forgotten to rest. So when I did take a break, the pent-up exhaustion finally hit me. There was no quick fix. Problems like these take months or even years to build up, and they don’t go away so quickly either. My first step was to force myself to rest. This was not easy for me: I’m used to being busy, and I like being busy. If I’m not at work, I’m volunteering, writing, or reading. But most of these things are related to work, requiring me to be in work mode. Nevertheless, I took some vacation days. That was the first step. Just because we’re working for a better world, it doesn’t mean our own personal worlds are healthy or sustainable. --— The second step was to find new hobbies and energy-giving activities. One of my best decisions was to go for a “silent retreat” — spending a few days with a group of people in total silence. The meditation and quiet had a calming effect, and I felt myself become more peaceful (I have now done three such retreats). Once I was back at home, I started playing tennis again, practicing qigong, meditation, and going on long walks, among other things. Soon I felt refreshed and calm. As I spoke to others working in global development, I realized I was not alone. Working on topics such as climate change is not easy — even when you put in your best, change seems too slow, too late. Many were juggling complicated work-life balances, extensive international travel, and workloads that sometimes seemed insurmountable. Many were anxious, stressed and potentially on the cusp of their own burnout. Just because we’re working for a better world, it doesn’t mean our own personal worlds are healthy or sustainable. When I returned to work after a couple of months I had to keep in mind that I needed to find a “new normal” in my professional life. This meant rethinking how Clim-Eat worked as an organization and my role in it. I started taking a step back and letting others take the lead and make decisions, aiming to use my energy wisely on those things which could not happen without me. This was an interesting part of rethinking how the organization worked and I like to think it has helped empower those I work with. A year on, how’s it all going? I find myself more calm, happier, with more interests, and a better work-life balance. For Clim-Eat, this period showed the resilience of the organization, and that it can thrive without me being involved in everything: The organization has grown thanks to the leadership of my colleagues. I believe it’s even stronger as a result. So the moral of this story is that working on topics like climate change and in global development, which require passion and commitment, can have a flip side: It can easily suck up all your energy without you realizing it. It’s therefore important to make a conscious effort to strike a balance between passion and well-being. In my experience, this means trusting your colleagues and delegating within your professional life. Outside of work, it is important to find hobbies which you enjoy and gain energy from, and to schedule time to actually do them. At home, it is important to ensure that you have a support network to rely on, be it friends or family. At the end of the day, it comes to each and every one of us to ensure our well-being, but I was pleasantly surprised by the support the community offered. One of our funders offered us a well-being grant to help us, and another partner offered me leadership coaching. There is nothing wrong in asking for help, and I was humbled by how many people were willing to provide it. It also taught me more about myself, about mental health, and managing my workload energy levels.