Burnout: What I experienced so you don't have to

In a world where there’s so much need and so much to be done, burnout seems inevitable. Based on my personal journey overcoming burnout and my experience supporting others in doing the same, I’ve seen that burnout is something we can pull back from as well as prevent. The critical part is identifying the burnout “red flags” so that we can take action and get support. Burnout affected me on every level — emotionally, mentally and physically. I no longer felt inspired doing the global health work that I had so passionately poured my blood, sweat and tears into for over a decade. Years of last minute travel and late night conference calls left me with little time to invest in my relationships with family and friends, leaving me feeling disconnected and unsupported. On the health front, I developed food sensitivities, digestive issues, hormonal imbalance, weight gain, brain fog and chronic exhaustion. There was also a crying fit on my cold bathroom floor with the words “I have nothing left to give” repeating themselves over and over in my head as I clung to my bathmat. Although my past self would have been mortified to confess all of this for fear of being judged, I’m happy to share it because I’ve since met so many others with similar stories — many of them including what I’ve lovingly come to refer to as “bathroom burnout breakdowns.” The challenge I faced through all of this is that I had no idea what the problem was. I didn’t recognize the warning signs of burnout even though they were everywhere. In my global health career I even sat on panels with government leaders and the World Health Organization where the topic of discussion was health worker burnout and how to mitigate it. And I still didn’t recognize burnout in myself. Those of us working in development and global health almost always speak about burnout as it relates to others — nurses in rural clinics and civil servants — instead of talking about it as it relates ourselves. Additionally, we are surrounded by a culture of stress and burnout, where those who push themselves the hardest are often the ones acknowledged for their passion, grit and perseverance. This makes it hard to draw the line between what is normal versus not in terms of what sacrifices we should make in the name of doing good. It also makes it really important for us to familiarize ourselves with the warning signs of burnout so that we can identify the red flags when they show up in our lives and address them before they escalate. These warning signs include: ● Always feeling tired and spent regardless of how much sleep you get ● Snapping at others often or withdrawing from them ● Getting sick frequently and taking longer to recover ● Increasingly relying on alcohol, coffee, and eating more (or less) than usual ● Frequent aches including back pain, shoulder pain, joint pain and headaches ● Digestive issues, hormonal imbalance, heart disease, or depression ● Decreased motivation, productivity, and fewer feelings of accomplishment ● Procrastinating more or skipping out on work entirely ● Feelings of failure, apathy, boredom, self-doubt, detachment, resentment, cynicism, or emptiness If you start to experience any of these warning signs of burnout, see them as red flags that something needs to change in order for you to start doing your good work sustainably. Take them seriously and reach out for support so that you can pull back from burnout before it escalates and impacts your entire life. If you ignore the warning signs, they will keep showing up more prominently until you’re forced to listen. I wish someone had told me this when I ended up in the hospital the first time — maybe I would have thought twice before reaching for the laptop so that I could work on Swaziland’s public health budget from my hospital bed. I’ve since come to believe that doing good should light us up, not burn us out. If we’re healthy and happy we are more motivated and can contribute a whole lot more than if we’re exhausted and our creativity, compassion and productivity are shot. By sharing my story I hope you can learn from my experience so you identify and prevent burnout before it escalates. Stay tuned for my follow-up blog post where I'll share what I did (and what you can do too) to pull back from burnout Have you experienced burnout? Share your experiences below. Whether you’re a seasoned expert or budding development professional — check out more news, analysis and advice online to guide your career and professional development, and subscribe to Doing Good to receive top international development career and recruitment news every week.